This conversation neatly sums up what it is like to have been married for a while.
1: Happy New Year!
2: Happy New Year!
1: … huh?
It seems today, that all you see
is violence to scrotums, or sex with the gays.
But where are those good, old-timey shit puns?
Lucky there’s a comedy guy.
Lucky there’s a man who,
positively out-Jews, Robert Klein!
He’s…
a…
comedy guy!
Earlier generations have weathered recessions, of course; this stall we’re in has the look of something nastier. Social Security and Medicare are going to be diminished, at best. Hours worked are up even as hiring staggers along: Blood from a stone looks to be the normal order of things “going…
(Source: New York Magazine)
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to…
Myth #11 - Introverts want you to just fuck off.
Yeah, ok, that’s not really a myth.
(Source: carlkingcreative.com)
Yeah, very funny iPhone dictionary. Ha ha ha. So funny I forgot to laugh.
If you’re going to automatically add Huangballs to the dictionary you should at least give me a way to delete it. Jerk.
Occasionally find these lyrics particularly comforting:
They ask me why I’m hateful, why I’m bad.
They tell me I got things they never had.
They tell me go to church and see the light.
Cos the good lord’s always right.
So what, so what.
So what if Jesus died on the cross.
So what about the fucker, I don’t give a toss.
So what if the master walked on the water.
I don’t see him trying to stop the slaughter.
They say I wouldn’t have to live from bins.
If I would go along, confess my sins.
They say I shouldn’t commit no crime.
Cos Jesus Christ is watching all the time.
So what, so what.
So what if he’s always over my shoulder.
I realise the truth as I get older.
I get to see what a con it is.
Because it’s my life, mine not his.
Well, they say they’re going to send me away.
Said they’re going to make me pay.
We’re sorry but you got to go.
But you were naughty, you said “No”.
So what, so what.
So what if I see through the lies.
So what if the people I despise
Twist my arm and make me work,
I’m no deaf, no fucking jerk.
I’m no spastic lying in the street.
I’m no superstar elite.
I’m just a person, a human being.
NO YOU’RE NOT, YOU’RE A PART OF THE MACHINE.
You’re a part our machine because we want you to be.
We’ve got you now and you’ll never be free.
We can even have your body after you’re dead.
We can take the eyes out of your fucking head.
Yes we’ll take them out, use them again.
We can do it you know cos we’ve got your brain.
We’ll crucify you like we crucified him.
We’ll make you obey our every whim.
We got the power, the power and the glory.
I’ve heard that before in a different story.
But the story I heard covered up the truth,
Didn’t touch on the actual factual proof.
Didn’t say about the bodies in the concentration camps,
Didn’t say about the (surgeons) knives underneath the lamps,
Doesn’t say that the ovens are still warm,
Doesn’t say that this wretched little form
Is a human being who wants to live
But not in the snot and shit they give.
They say that I had better keep quiet
Or they’re gonna douse my light.
Jesus Christ can save my life,
But I can always use my knife.
So what, so what, so what, so what, so what, so what, so what, SO WHAT.
—The Crass, So What from The Feeding of the 5000
Inspired by a question asked by @drewmccormack on Twitter, I started thinking about songs that instantly remind me of my parents or events strongly linked to my parents.
The song Shining Star by The Manhattans always reminds me of my mother. This is from a period after my parents were divorced, so there’s no link to my father.
During the summer of 1979, we took our one and only family vacation to Cape Cod, MA. The year is easy to fix because this was also the summer that Hurricane David swiped through New England. Wings was still popular on the radio then and I remember hearing Band On The Run multiple times on the radio. As far as I can remember, this is the only song firmly associated in my mind with my dad.
Boy what a time I had in the office bathroom! Get this: I go into one of the stalls and see there is still pee in the bowl. Wait there’s more. I briefly consider moving to the next stall but that’d be a middle stall, and who wants a middle stall. Nobody is who. So I flush the toilet and it gets…
My new voidus operandi
Teenager With “Koяn” Tattooed By His Eye: You were probably, what, four years old when Korn was forced upon us? That’s like me getting a DEBBIE BOONE 4 LIFE tattoo and yes I know that doesn’t mean anything to you and by the way it’s on your eyeeeeeeee oh god did you mean to do that? Here on out,…
Ritual isn’t about doing a routine mindlessly. It’s a way of building something good into your life, so that you don’t forget what’s important. Done mindfully, a ritual can remind you to be conscious. Done mindlessly, a ritual is meaningless.
I think I need to make a ritual of building the ritual. Keep having to learn this over and over.
Buddhism quote for @Neo_Jellyfish : “Life does not give us time to prepare all things before taking action. We must take action as best we can, as we need to, and learn all else we need while we are ourselves in action. Don’t put off doing what you can and you know is important just because you do not know the unknowable.”
The Portuguese, besides having some fantastic idioms, have an interesting cultural quirk that makes navigating their country as a foreigner particularly difficult. They will always, without fail, respond to your questions with a literal answer, and will never actually tell you what you actually want to know. Ask a man if that door over there leads to the fire escape, and if it does not, he will answer “no” and then proceed directly to the door that does, leaving you to die engulfed in flames.
Working with software engineers is not quite this difficult, or (barring certain industries, like medical devices and air traffic control) potentially life-threatening. But it can be equally frustrating, if not more so. If you are a project manager, client, business developer, sales rep, recruiter, or belong to any other profession that regularly deals with them, you have your work cut out for you. What follows is my gift to you: a primer on working with software engineers for the everyman with no iPad and little understanding of what they do.
braingaius:redcloud:tiffehr:(via elclon)
Wilt Chamberlain, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Andre the Giant
Classic
Worst footwear ever.
